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November 28th, 2015

28/11/2015

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Crazy-Angry Christmas Shopping Car Parks and How to Keep Your Cool

27/11/2015

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They did what!!!
Imagine this ….. it’s the 20th of December, it’s hot, your car indicator is on as you are about to pull into the last car parking spot for to do a marathon of Christmas shopping.  Then you don’t believe it …. someone races up and drives into the car parking spot.  What you do next is different for each person but I’m betting that you are pretty angry about what just happened.  From here you can be angry for 30 seconds, 1 minute or even the whole day.  

That Toxic Emotion  
for the day.  How might this play out?  As you look for another car parking spot then whoever is in the car only has do the smallest thing wrong and they can receive an angry spray.    Then the lady at the checkout in the shop scans an item twice and you decide that is definitively “complain to the manager material” because she doesn’t deserve to be paid her wage with the money you spend in the store.  Now you can insert your own example how this plays out as an employee or a business owner when you get back to work later on.  This is just the tip of the iceberg because the rest of your day can play out with ramifications for the way you feel, the actions you take, the physical / mental health and even the daily evolving self talk.  For example - with the other person taking your car parking spot would you make it mean:  it is a dog eat dog world or that people don’t value me or I need to be more ruthless so I don’t miss out on opportunities in life?  The longer you experience your anger the long it gets to rampage through your life like a bull through a crystal shop ….. and probably just as expensive too.  

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Press it , press it , press it!
What if you had a RESET-BUTTON just behind your right ear that when you pushed it you went back to feeling okay again.  Would that help?  How would this look……. Well, the person pulls into your car parking spot you turn purple and red and smoke comes out of your ears and then you remember “press the RESET-BUTTON”.  
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​"Not-Aus Betätiger". Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons

You press the reset-button and:
  • a wave of calm goes from the top of your head, through your chest and down to your toes. 
  • Yes you still want the car parking spot, yes you still disagree that the other person took your car parking spot but you’re feeling very calm, centred and in control. 
  • Because you are feeling this way it means that you can focus on making sense of what just happened in a way that doesn’t make it all about you. 
 
Given you are calm, your self-talk could be:
  • “That guy might be really stressed about something – he’s doing that because he’s not thinking straight.  Him pulling into the car parking spot had nothing to do with me – he doesn’t even know me!”
  • “Not that it is okay but maybe she’s been looking for a spot longer than me and she just had enough – she figured that spot was hers”. 
  • “It was pretty obvious to me but maybe the other person thought it was their parking spot”
 
This way of thinking allows for the situation to be acknowledged, made sense of and you get to stay cool, calm and collect so you can focus on what matters to you.  You fill in the blanks about what awesome things happen next in your great day that wouldn’t have if you choose to stay in the anger-zone.  ​
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You don’t have a RESET-BUTTON ….. do you? 
Now you might think that it is all fine to say  - instead of staying angry and messing up your whole day to instead press the imaginary RESET-BUTTON and be calm for an awesome day – so what!  Well if you are going to decide to stop being angry anyway, no stop …. better said - start being cool, calm and collected then how about you decide to be cool, calm and collected sooner. Would that help you get more awesomeness out of your day?  Would that maintain your connection with your relationships?  Would that maintain great physical and emotional health?  If YES then….. When you get angry about something how long do you want to do angry for …… you know be done with it and move over to cool, calm and collected?  Would 30 seconds be enough, 1 minute or even 5 minutes – how much anger-time do you want?  You see if you realise that being and “doing angry” isn’t moving you towards what you do want then kick it to kerb and step into what you do want.  Okay here is the challenging TO DO BIT.  When something happens to you that triggers “its time to do angry”, do your “nobody gets hurt” version of anger and rapidly go to the thinking of PRESS THE RESET-BUTTON to choose to get back to being cool, calm and collected.  Why …. because you are bring the timeline forward and wanting to feel in control, feel great and do things with your day that you are completely happy to own.  It’s not easy at first but you, and the people around you, are worth the rocking-it-out and in control version of you.  Plus there is enough people doing angry that you don’t need to help the cause :) .  So anger in short :  do it, reset it and enjoy your Christmas shopping!!!

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The Contentment Evolution 

19/11/2015

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Who can relate to this?  You’re not entirely sure what you want from your life but you are doing what many people do for happiness.  Strive or have attained the job that makes sense, the relationships that fit with your image and the iconic things of stability and success.  That is all good if you are happy and content with your path or what you have achieved.  However, who of you who feel ripped off because you did the standard “check-list for happiness” only to be silently feeling empty and disillusioned about “life”.  I mean really, you set your goals, you did all the right things to get the results and you’re not feeling for-filled, centred and passionate about your life.  Who’s hearing me on this one?  Well – let me tell you are not alone.  There are many people in the same predicament – more than you could imagine. 
 
There is a way forwards - a new approach - a recalibration of you and your life.  The Contentment Evolution.  This process has the potential for you to look back at the end of life and say “I gave it my all”.  The process is not easy, it won’t happen over night but it will provide the path to a life that is heart-felt, adventurous and contentment-saturated.  Let’s get cracking I say…….

​Here is The Contentment Evolution step by step: 
 
1.Collective Identification:  The more you know about others – the more you know about you.  To build you knowledge - attend workshops or learn about human behavioural profiling tools such as Extended DISC.  

2.Encyclopaedia You:  Spend time, energy and money getting to know your inner-genius.  The self-knowing, the intuition, the inner guidance.  To rock your life this is KEY – skip this and you skip the AWESOME life. 

3.Insight Central:  You are ready to consult your INNER-GENIUS to see, hear and feel what you do like, what you don’t like, which new or old relationships to invest more time in and what to do next.  You will just KNOW.

4.Congruent Actions:  These actions are TRUE-YOU they may, or may not, make sense to you at the time but they FEEL-SO-RIGHT.  The temptation here is to over rationalise and default to familiar habits.  The trick is to take the NEW action and OWN the new outcome.

5.NEW Landscape: The CONGRUENT actions will result in NEW people, NEW opportunities and NEW outcomes for you.  These changes can be scary, exhilarating and mind-blowing.  Sometimes the changes that occur may not always be comfortable however later on you will see that it was all apart of process of you-based EVOLUTION. 

6.The Yellow Brick Road:  You have new RESULTS in your life and a DEEPER understanding about who we are as a collective.  REPEAT steps 1 to 6 – as you go into each step at a new DEEPER level to follow your path for a CONTENTIMENT-SATURATED pathway.
 
By repeating steps 1 to 6 you go deep and deeper down the rabbit hole of knowledge about US, knowledge about YOU and stronger insights about what will be a great life for you.  Another amazing discovery, as apart of this process, is that your focus shifts from “I will be happy when” to “I am happy now and I’m evolving towards higher levels of contentment”.

As I said before – it’s not easy but you are so WORTH the effort as are the people around you that you will SUPPORT and CHAMPION to rise to their brilliance also!!! 
 

If you enjoyed this blog, remember to click the like button, add your comments and share with your friends.
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