 | Talking about the gifts in regards to giving and receiving there is something of you might have heard of and it's called the five love languages. The Five Love Languages The five love languages are: 1. word's of affirmation 2. acts of service 3. receiving gifts 4. quality time 5. physical touch. |
So they are the five and just to go through them briefly. Words of affirmation it's what lights that person up. It's those words that mean so much and that's their way of expressing love.
The next one being acts of service. Acts of service is doing things for people - you know someone would do something as an act of service you know. Giving them a lift somewhere, doing work for them, you know collating a set of files and giving it to them. You doing something for somebody else that is their way of expressing love.
Then you've also got receiving gifts, okay so someones love language could receiving gifts which is perfect in regards to the 12 days of Christmas is receiving gifts so the person could be giving and is that is their way of expressing love. The other person receiving may or may not have it as their love language.
The next one along is quality time, so actually spending time with the person like they really appreciate those long walks, those long chats, the coffees, the teas - just spending the time together. That doesn't have to be talking it can be doing stuff together, yeah you usually say that is one to one time be cause it's quality time.
The last one being physical touch. Anything from a handshake to a pat on the shoulder to even really intimate expressions of physical touch. That's their way all of expressing their love language.
Confusion and Hurt
So in regards to Christmas you know if people are showering others with gifts there's a good chance that their love language is gifts. If people when receiving them are going "oh, that's nice, thanks" and the person giving, who has the love language of gifts, doesn't feel that they're appreciating the gifts and they may get upset. They go "what's going on? I put my heart and my soul into this and then all I get is "oh, yeah thanks that's nice" and it was a bit of a fake smile or a bit of a fake hug or something like that. So this is where the gaps come in. One person's expressing love and the other persons going that's great "if you just spend some time with me and hung out with me today actually that's the way that you could express love with me because that's actually what I want".
What is your Love Language
So look on the website just search the five love languages it's five love, five the number, love languages dot com. On there you can Click on learn your love language is on the home page. And then you can take it for yourself or take it from your child's perspective so you can even understand children, your children's love language as well. So take that, really good one to do. I've done it for myself and for my partner - we have done our own ones. And actually making comparison as to what what my love language what someone, what my partner's is and actually start to understand where maybe some of the gaps of expect expectations and being let down.
The Secret
So the secret to this as well is if you know each other’s love language - rather than doing your love language to them, do their love language and light up that part of them that says "wow you are really expressing love with me right now" and they'll feel very understood and got. So I trust this is helpful. This is this is a very big one with regards to gifts and how people do that. So this is Wayne from Wayne Cook
The next one being acts of service. Acts of service is doing things for people - you know someone would do something as an act of service you know. Giving them a lift somewhere, doing work for them, you know collating a set of files and giving it to them. You doing something for somebody else that is their way of expressing love.
Then you've also got receiving gifts, okay so someones love language could receiving gifts which is perfect in regards to the 12 days of Christmas is receiving gifts so the person could be giving and is that is their way of expressing love. The other person receiving may or may not have it as their love language.
The next one along is quality time, so actually spending time with the person like they really appreciate those long walks, those long chats, the coffees, the teas - just spending the time together. That doesn't have to be talking it can be doing stuff together, yeah you usually say that is one to one time be cause it's quality time.
The last one being physical touch. Anything from a handshake to a pat on the shoulder to even really intimate expressions of physical touch. That's their way all of expressing their love language.
Confusion and Hurt
So in regards to Christmas you know if people are showering others with gifts there's a good chance that their love language is gifts. If people when receiving them are going "oh, that's nice, thanks" and the person giving, who has the love language of gifts, doesn't feel that they're appreciating the gifts and they may get upset. They go "what's going on? I put my heart and my soul into this and then all I get is "oh, yeah thanks that's nice" and it was a bit of a fake smile or a bit of a fake hug or something like that. So this is where the gaps come in. One person's expressing love and the other persons going that's great "if you just spend some time with me and hung out with me today actually that's the way that you could express love with me because that's actually what I want".
What is your Love Language
So look on the website just search the five love languages it's five love, five the number, love languages dot com. On there you can Click on learn your love language is on the home page. And then you can take it for yourself or take it from your child's perspective so you can even understand children, your children's love language as well. So take that, really good one to do. I've done it for myself and for my partner - we have done our own ones. And actually making comparison as to what what my love language what someone, what my partner's is and actually start to understand where maybe some of the gaps of expect expectations and being let down.
The Secret
So the secret to this as well is if you know each other’s love language - rather than doing your love language to them, do their love language and light up that part of them that says "wow you are really expressing love with me right now" and they'll feel very understood and got. So I trust this is helpful. This is this is a very big one with regards to gifts and how people do that. So this is Wayne from Wayne Cook